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i'm tracey. i'm twenty.
i can't remember starting
and i'm never done.
all you really need to know is here.
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October 10, 2010 | 03:09 PM | 3 notes
Not anymore :)

Not anymore :)

August 08, 2010 | 10:43 PM |
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Kid Cudi - Mr. Rager

July 07, 2010 | 01:47 AM | 5 notes

Have you ever met someone who has lived out all of your dreams and makes you wonder why you haven’t done the same?

July 07, 2010 | 03:07 AM | 1 note

I’m having one of those nights where everything seems painfully still. It’s three in the morning and I’m so, so tired but the moment my head touches the pillow, I’m wide awake. And it’s so quiet and empty. Even the sad thoughts that manage to creep in are silent.

I saw his girlfriend for the first time a few days ago. She’s unbelievably pretty and perfect. I should really get out of this mess while I can.

June 06, 2010 | 12:47 PM | 90 notes
kaitlinpayne:bambibeatdown: i met you at her funeral. you just held onto me and cried. you told me i was beautiful, and looked just like her. you couldn’t look at me straight, you just held my arm for a while.i remember when she told me about her blackest years, when i was still swallowing mine. we were in a hotel restaurant before an international flight and my guts were on my breakfast plate. i was just twenty-two, just heartbroken, just. she sat across from me and told me those secrets that belonged to you two. to you, too. she belonged to you, too. i remember your brother sitting next to her in hospital, crying. she said, tell neil i loved him. make sure he knows that i really loved him. my father sat at her feet and smiled. he knew that her heart had not always been his, but he also never doubted the clarity with which he was loved from the start.i bit the skin on my lips and thought, as your old fingers pressed my skin. you never get yourself back from the people that you love. you always leave something behind, like a broken fingernail in between their teeth. sometimes i look at this picture of my mother and her first real love and i wonder what i have left in the men that i no longer hold. sometimes i hope that you remember the eyelashes you counted underneath i-love-you’s. sometimes, though. only sometimes. 

kaitlinpayne:bambibeatdown:

i met you at her funeral. you just held onto me and cried. you told me i was beautiful, and looked just like her. you couldn’t look at me straight, you just held my arm for a while.
i remember when she told me about her blackest years, when i was still swallowing mine. we were in a hotel restaurant before an international flight and my guts were on my breakfast plate. i was just twenty-two, just heartbroken, just. she sat across from me and told me those secrets that belonged to you two. to you, too. she belonged to you, too. 
i remember your brother sitting next to her in hospital, crying. she said, tell neil i loved him. make sure he knows that i really loved him. my father sat at her feet and smiled. he knew that her heart had not always been his, but he also never doubted the clarity with which he was loved from the start.
i bit the skin on my lips and thought, as your old fingers pressed my skin. you never get yourself back from the people that you love. you always leave something behind, like a broken fingernail in between their teeth. 
sometimes i look at this picture of my mother and her first real love and i wonder what i have left in the men that i no longer hold. sometimes i hope that you remember the eyelashes you counted underneath i-love-you’s. sometimes, though. only sometimes. 

June 06, 2010 | 02:49 AM |

I’ve only known you for a few weeks. On the night we first met, we stayed up late talking and it was the most fun I’d had in ages. I swear I starting getting a crush on you within the first five minutes of knowing you and it felt amazing. Like parts of me were finally stirring after months and months of hibernation. It was like waking up naturally, completely rejuvenated, beating the alarm clock on a sunny weekend morning.

We didn’t think to exchange names until the next day and I still don’t know your birthday, but I know your favourite pizza topping. I know which movie was the last to blow your mind and I know how you rank different types of popcorn. I also know that you have a girlfriend who you love and I guess that’s where things end with us. You’re not mine, I wish you were, we’ll just be friends, the end.

The strangest thing is that I don’t consider this a sad story. I’m not really sure what this is yet. All I know is that I hadn’t been writing much of anything anywhere for a long time and then you came along. You came along and woke me.

June 06, 2010 | 03:21 AM |

Things I knew before but learned again this past month:

  • falling for someone is nice
  • falling for someone taken is risky
  • falling for someone taken in a serious relationship is just disheartening

I’d try to stop but being this emotionally masochistic makes me feel all sorts of alive.

May 05, 2010 | 05:41 PM | 985 notes

givesmehope:

Last month, we visited my grandmother. She has a strange case of Alzheimer’s.

When she denied being married, my grandfather looked up. We could tell this killed him inside.

Instead of getting angry, he stood up, walked over to her bed and asked her out again.

His love for her GMH.

May 05, 2010 | 01:07 AM | 1 note
(via PostSecret)

(via PostSecret)

May 05, 2010 | 01:03 AM | 4 notes
(via PostSecret) Note to self.

(via PostSecret)

Note to self.

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